This was a powerful piece. I volunteered awhile for hospice here in America and it was hard. The difference in care homes was astounding. From the private homes to facilities where it was obvious the patients didn't have much money. It was so sad and depressing to see how different the care received was. We spend so much time dreaming of retirement, we don't even think about the end stages of life.
Very sad indeed. Fortunately both my parents were in good homes and my wife’s mother as well. Here many Filipinos are care providers and in our experience were pretty amazing.
Oh, God, I hope not darling. I don’t think so but who knows. She still talks plenty so she’s not even close yet. She’d have something to say if she wasn’t being treated right. That will change in time I’m sure. 🖤
What a tough but important read. Good for you for being a whistleblower and speaking out. This is definitely a global problem. An inhumane, deplorable problem.
Thanks for writing this. I have been the primary caregiver for my elderly father for the past 20years. Every time he has to go to the ER for something, the ER staff complements his status. No open sores, clean (as clean as I can get a double amputee), and daily tracking of his vitals & meds. They tell me that they see so many people who are forgotten and neglected by their own family members. We also try to ensure he makes all his appointments (medical, dental, optical, etc.) and it's a lot, plus having a full time job outside of the house. Elder abuse and neglect is a tragedy that too many in our society are blind too. Thanks for your post.
Oh my dear Edward, it is heartbreaking. As you know, I work in the sector too and have witnessed some horrors over the years.
Even in hospital - if my sister or I don't do mum's teeth, then noone does. And when meals are delivered noone helps her to raise the bed upright, or lower the rail and put the table in place. I've walked in to find her laying down, trying to eat and drink through the bed rails, and spilling hot coffee all over herself! It doesn't take a genius to work out that a frail 91 year old probably can't operate the bed remote control.
*By the way, the bed rails are up because mum likes them up - she's scared of falling out otherwise.
Edward, a beautiful poem, so well articulated, such an important message to get out into the world. ❤️❤️❤️
The aged care system has been on a burnout across decades now. Where I come from there roughly treated like savages with 0 to 20% healthcare attention. Somehow one might wonder where all the budget goes to and why nothing has been done about it.
It's a very sad situation and this is more than a whistleblower
This is all so heartbreaking. You’re right it is a global problem. Good on you for highlighting it so eloquently and for stepping up to try to make a difference 😍
This was a powerful piece. I volunteered awhile for hospice here in America and it was hard. The difference in care homes was astounding. From the private homes to facilities where it was obvious the patients didn't have much money. It was so sad and depressing to see how different the care received was. We spend so much time dreaming of retirement, we don't even think about the end stages of life.
Few think of the end stage, until they’re living this reality.
All of us working in the sector think about it, I wish politicians would.
Very sad indeed. Fortunately both my parents were in good homes and my wife’s mother as well. Here many Filipinos are care providers and in our experience were pretty amazing.
I had no idea you lived in the Philippines - many South-East Asian countries have a cultural expectation of in-home elder care.
Western countries could learn a lot.
I live in California. It is their niche here.
I’m endlessly amazed how you manage to shine a light on taboo-topics. So so important! The first and third stanza blew me away.
Taboo fascinates me, though underscoring the shocking state of nursing home standards shouldn’t be a taboo topic, it should be common knowledge.
It isn’t, and probably never will be. That’s humanity for ya.
Ugh. Heartbreaking, Edward! 😭 My gut churned with every word. What a despicable disease, and then to be treated like garbage. It's criminal 💔
I hope your mother-in-law is not receiving the care described in this piece, sweet Marce xx.
Oh, God, I hope not darling. I don’t think so but who knows. She still talks plenty so she’s not even close yet. She’d have something to say if she wasn’t being treated right. That will change in time I’m sure. 🖤
You and R have struck gold. It’s a lottery and the odds are not in our favor.
What a tough but important read. Good for you for being a whistleblower and speaking out. This is definitely a global problem. An inhumane, deplorable problem.
It’s beyond inhumane, and it’s gotten worse?!
When I started my aged care career there were staff-to-resident ratios and now, they’ve been abolished?! In Australia, care is going backward.
I imagine it’s a similar story across the world.
I resisted reading this, since I knew it would be a heartbreaking topic. Excellent job!
It’s a toughie, but necessary, sweet Ann xx.
You not holding back is what we need, what the world needs.
The truth needs to be seen and understood, no matter how much it hurts to do so.
Thank you, eternal Debdutta.
It’s a national (and global) blight on humanity.
This was heartbreaking to read but it’s definitely a reality.
I really hope something changes for the better soon.
I have fading hope, but it remains.
Thank you for reading, Muse x.
Thanks for writing this. I have been the primary caregiver for my elderly father for the past 20years. Every time he has to go to the ER for something, the ER staff complements his status. No open sores, clean (as clean as I can get a double amputee), and daily tracking of his vitals & meds. They tell me that they see so many people who are forgotten and neglected by their own family members. We also try to ensure he makes all his appointments (medical, dental, optical, etc.) and it's a lot, plus having a full time job outside of the house. Elder abuse and neglect is a tragedy that too many in our society are blind too. Thanks for your post.
You are a living legend, Oli.
Bed sores and pressure care would be a challenge with a double amputee, hats off to you for showing utmost dedication to your father 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙏🙏🤍
Thanks. I do what I can.
Oh my dear Edward, it is heartbreaking. As you know, I work in the sector too and have witnessed some horrors over the years.
Even in hospital - if my sister or I don't do mum's teeth, then noone does. And when meals are delivered noone helps her to raise the bed upright, or lower the rail and put the table in place. I've walked in to find her laying down, trying to eat and drink through the bed rails, and spilling hot coffee all over herself! It doesn't take a genius to work out that a frail 91 year old probably can't operate the bed remote control.
*By the way, the bed rails are up because mum likes them up - she's scared of falling out otherwise.
Edward, a beautiful poem, so well articulated, such an important message to get out into the world. ❤️❤️❤️
Oral care and bed remotes = two of the biggest issues.
Oral care in particular, I recall my first nursing gig, asking the manager where the mouth toilet kit was on orientation.
She didn’t know what a mouth toilet was.
Horrific.
I hope mum is doing better xxx. She is so lucky to have an angel caring for her 👼
Thank you for sharing this gut-wrenching story. We all age. Keep doing the good work. The world needs you. 💕
That’s right!! We all age, even politicians.
Yet, they fail to legislate and think “that won’t happen to me, I won’t end up in a nursing home.”
Many will, many do. I bet they’re wishing they passed laws ensuring elder welfare.
The aged care system has been on a burnout across decades now. Where I come from there roughly treated like savages with 0 to 20% healthcare attention. Somehow one might wonder where all the budget goes to and why nothing has been done about it.
It's a very sad situation and this is more than a whistleblower
It’s a travesty, thank you for highlighting what the sector is like in your country.
Speak up, or forever hold your (elder care) peace 🖤🖤🖤🖤
This is all so heartbreaking. You’re right it is a global problem. Good on you for highlighting it so eloquently and for stepping up to try to make a difference 😍
None of us made a difference, the recommendations came in at 108 (from memory) and the govt enacted about 14 of them.
Total waste of taxpayer dollars, and all the while, the elderly suffered. As they do, right now.
It’s literally Problem Impossible, sweet Carol.
😕
Speech pathologists often alert nursing homes to any issues with oral care; it’s their/your job to assess, and speech is interlinked with gum health.
Yet, like all concerns, they’re largely ignored by private aged care providers.
$$$ drives the industry.